Muppet Show segment written by Shel Silverstein. Um, awesome.

I love you Erin Stead from Michigan.

I hate passing out expensive candy to already obese children I don’t know. Am I a bad person?

Sure thing #1: New Girl is a (horrible) vehicle for Zooey Deschanel to be quirky-cute, and adorably nerdy and to showcase her above-average singing skills.

Sure thing #2: I’m gonna watch that shit until it (almost certainly) gets cancelled. (like, very soon)

all my beautiful babies

but they’re not

sho nuff

I keep making it worse… at least my roots aren’t clear.

I bleached my hair… cuz I’m dumb. Now, I need a game plan. But, to be honest, I’m becoming strangely attached to this crunchy, damaged mass of white, red, orange, and pink crispy straw.

cuz we’re best friends